In a weird way, I kind of loved 2020.
This last year taught me so many lessons that I desperately needed to learn.
I learned how to forgive. Even when they didn’t deserve it; even when they didn’t ask for forgiveness. But more importantly, I learned how to forgive myself. For my shortcomings, for my fuck ups, and for the days that I just can’t seem to get it together. There’s no use for that negative energy inside of me; it is immediately transmuted and released. All is forgiven, always.
I learned how to love unconditionally. I learned how to see another’s perspective and offer compassion instead of judgment or frustration. The connections that I have made and the ones that have deepened this year leave me speechless. I am infinitely blessed to be surrounded by so many people who cherish and adore me just as much as I do them; people who are excited to support me and grow with me, and are equally as down for me when I’m having a rough go at it. I have nothing but the best, of that I’m certain. I’m happy we are in this together.
I learned how to surrender. How to focus on what I can control and to ignore the rest. How to let people do their thing and be there if they need me regardless. How to ask for help when I need it and admit when I fuck up. To faithfully trust that the U will deliver me everything I need and desire, and so far it hasn’t failed me yet.
I learned how to slow down. Take a step back. Take a breath. Take a minute. Get grounded. Be certain of my next move. Be grateful in the moment. Just be.
I learned how to be proud of who I am. I learned how to show myself compassion in the face of my imperfections, and how to evolve them. Everything that I was searching for in others, I started giving myself. I’m no longer attempting to drown my sorrows in happy hour drinks and insignificant associations. Being alone isn’t lonely or terrifying anymore; quite the contrary, it’s peaceful.
I figured out who I want to be. And who I don’t. There were times I didn’t think I’d be able to make it.
I’m honestly just feeling really thankful to be alive.
I’m sure next year will have its own set of whirlwinds, but I’m ready to face those too.
This is just the beginning for me.
Hoping 2021 brings you all an infinite flow of abundance and blessings!